1Peter 3:7
The Men Too
Since \\#1Peter 2:11\\, Peter has been directing the same message to
four groups. The message was submit. The groups were (1) All
Christians, (2) Slaves, (3) Wives. The fourth and last group is to
the husbands.
Let’s note the message to them.
I. Peter’s Transition
1Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands….
A. Likewise means in the same manner.
1. God does not have two different messages, one for the
superior man and women and one for the inferior woman.
2. It is the same message.
3. Everyone is commanded by God to be nice to everyone and to
yield to others as much as you possibly can.
B. Ladies, there has to be authority.
1. That is sad, but it is necessary.
2. I see no signs that Adam and Eve had to have any authority
other than God before the fall.
a. As we have noted, God created man first and created
man to serve Him.
b. He created woman second and created her to complete
man.
c. That means that there has always been both an order of
creation and a different purpose for the man and the
woman, but there was no indication of the woman being
commanded to submit to the man until the fall.
Ge 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly
multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in
sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy
desire shall be to thy husband, AND HE SHALL
RULE OVER THEE.
d. With the fall came strife, division, conflict and the
absolute necessity for authority even among loving
co-equal family members—so God gave it.
3. Someone asks, "Can’t husbands and wives just get along as
co-equals?" Apparently not.
a. Weekly now we hear of one mate killing another.
b. It should not surprise is when we learn family members
cannot get along. Immediately after the record of
man’s fall comes the record of Cain killing his
brother Abel.
c. No. God had to establish an authority.
C. Gentlemen, we must remember we are to treat them "in like
manner."
1. Husbands, we are to have a humble, serving spirit.
The command to submit to our wives may not be in the
Bible, but the spirit to humble ourselves is.
2. "Pick your battles."
a. What does that mean?
b. It means as often as you can, yield to your wife so
that when something comes along that you feel you
must use your God-given authority, she will not
begrudge you or God.
3. God never sets up authority to oppress and dictate to
those under it.
a. He sets up authority to love, to lead, and to protect
those under it.
(1) Remember what Peter already said about
"governors" or government leaders:
1Peter 2:14 …(they) are sent by him for the
punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of
them that do well.
(2) Paul said essentially the same thing.
Romans 13:3 For rulers are not a terror to good
works, but to the evil.
b. Whatever authority God gives to any of us, it is given
to do what God would do if He were walking in flesh.
c. Jesus gave up His earthly life for us. We are now to
live as He would live.
D. Let’s ask ourselves, "How have so many gotten so much so
wrong?"
1. The fault is not in God or His Word. The fault is in us.
2. We like to read into the Bible what we want the Bible to
say.
3. Some men have gotten a "Dictator complex" from what they
BELIEVE the Bible says about women submitting.
4. Let me remind us of some truths:
a. If we were all that perfect, God would not have needed
to give us a helpmeet.
b. The they were all that inferior, they could not be our
helpmeets.
c. Even while the Bible commands the women to submit to
the husband, it never commands the husband to rule
the wife.
(1) What God commanded the man to do was to LOVE his
wife like Christ loved the church.
(a) Christ has never forced His church to do
anything.
(b) Christ has never railed on His church.
(c) Christ has never shamed or embarrassed His
church.
(d) Christ has certainly never struck, never
forsook, never cast away, never neglected,
never abandoned, and was never unfaithful
to His church.
(2) Instead of us imaging commands that God did not
give, we should spend our time obeying the
commands He did give.
II. Peter’s Commands
A. "dwell with them according to knowledge"
1. First, Peter is saying live with them.
2. The first part of the command is to dwell with them.
3. Strange as it may seem, for most people, God’s plan is
for them to marry and live together the remainder of
their lives.
4. The world has been in large part a male dominated world.
a. In most cultures, men make the decisions about who
they will marry, how they will treat the person they
married, and long they will be married.
b. It was largely that way in the Jewish culture.
c. It is not to be that way in the Christian culture.
5. So like Nike used to say, "Just do it."
B. Second, Peter is saying live with them like you have some
sense.
1. That may be a liberal translation, but I don’t think
it is missing the mark by much.
(a) Live with them like you know God gave her to you.
(b) Live with them like you know you need her.
(c) Live with them like you know how to behave.
2. Live with them like you have some knowledge.
C. Give honor to them.
1. Honor means value, a great price.
a. Treat your wife like you would treat your greatest
treasure.
b. Cherish her, protect her, value her, hold on to her.
c. Even if she has some faults, if we will treat them
as the Bible is commanding, our love and God’s grace
would grow them.
d. Husbands, if you are going to be obedient to the
Bible, you and she are going to live together all of
your earthly days.
e. Make them the best you can by obeying God and working
to bring out the best in her.
2. Peter goes on to tell us HOW we should honor our wives.
a. Honor them like they are the weaker vessel.
(1) That means treat them like they need help.
(2) Interestingly, God made them because WE, the men,
need help; but He created them weaker so that
they would need our help too.
(3) God did not want the woman being so physically
capable that they did not need the man.
(4) The idea here is He created both genders so that
they needed the other.
(5) Now, men, let’s think about this.
(a) We know why they need us because the Bible
says it. They need us because they are
physically weaker than us.
(b) But why do we need them?
i. It is not so that they can help us
physically.
ii. What is left? Seems to me like they
are three other options.
aa. We need help spiritually.
bb. We need help mentally.
cc. We need help emotionally.
iii. I think it is all three!
b. Honor them like they are heirs of the grace of life.
(1) First, Peter says like they are heirs of grace.
(a) That means honor them like a sister in
Christ.
(b) One of these days, the fleshly relationship
of marriage will fall aside, but we will
always be brothers and sisters in Christ.
(c) They are saved by the same grace, loved by
the same Savior, and will dwell in the same
heaven.
(d) Treat them so.
(2) But the grace Peter was speaking about was the
grace of life.
(a) Once we are married, God joins us to the
same purpose, the same grace.
(b) That means if we help our wives, we are
helping ourselves.
(c) If we hurt our wives, we are hurting
ourselves.
(3) Friend, we need to make this work!
c. Honor them so that your prayers will not be hindered.
(1) Here God puts in down to where even the most
carnal Christian can understand it.
(2) If we don’t treasure our wives, God will not
answer our prayers.
(3) It is a shame that God has to appeal to our
selfish interests to get us to do right, but He
does, and He did.
Although the word "submit" is not used in the verse, the spirit of
submission and cooperation is. The command to submit is for the
men too!
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