1Kings 3:16-28
What A Good Mother Should Be?
Let me start the message by saying that I am glad and honored for every mother
present. I truly understand that there are many places you could be, but you
have chosen to be here and I do not take that for granted.
My goal is to do two things for the mothers this morning.
1. I want to honor you.
Romans 13:7 Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due;
custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.
Mothers are worthy of honor. From the discomfort you endure to carry a
child, to the pain you have to deliver the child, to the many sacrifices
you must make to rear a child, you are worthy of honor.
2. I want to help you. I want to help make your job easier. I want to help
you produce a son or daughter that you can be proud of. I want to help
you rear a child that is saved and a blessing to you.
Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also,
and he praiseth her.
I pray that God will allow me to accomplish both of those goals today.
Notice that Solomon is given credit for his wisdom in this text (as he should).
Yet, what Solomon did was to rely on the nature of a good mother. Two women were
claiming the same child. One mother was grieving over having accidentally killed
her baby. It was probably not evident, but Solomon knew grief and bitterness
would reside in that mother. He also knew that an abounding love would abide in
the heart of the other mother. The mother of the living baby had risked her life
to bring the child into the world. She would not allow anything to happen to her
baby. If she had to, she would give her own life to safe her baby. Solomon did
not know exactly what the true mother of the baby would do, but he knew she
would do something to save her baby. And she did. She was willing to give her
baby away than to have it slain.
Solomon was relying on the nature of a good mother to determine whose the child
was. Today, what it takes to be a good mother has become very confusing. Girls
are not taught that motherhood is the highest goal in their life. Personal
happiness, career, fun, freedom, wealth, and a variety of other goals are
emphasized as being more nobler than motherhood. The signals that our culture is
sending are very strong and they say that motherhood is a second rate life.
Children are an inconvenience to be dropped off at a day care, or to be abandoned
at birth, or even aborted before they can be born. This attitude has prevailed
in our culture for so long, that the mothers of today’s mothers do not even know
what it takes to be a good mother.
Thankfully, we have the original instruction Book. We have the Bible. It was
the Bible that taught us the importance of motherhood to begin with. It taught
mothers and fathers how to do the job of rearing good and godly children. What
it did generations ago, it can do today.
So, what does it take to be a good mother? Let’s look at some Scripture
examples.
I. A good mother should be a nurturer.
Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their
husbands, to love their children,
A. To nurture means to be able to provide for a child, to care for a
child, to properly develop a child.
B. Nurturing a child is a multi-dimensional task.
1. A mother must be able to take care of the physical needs of a
baby.
a. a child must be feed, kept well, kept safe, educated, taught
the value of work.
(1) This is the most basic of care for a child.
(2) It is the physical dimension of nurture.
(3) If a court can prove that a mother is not able to do these
things for a child, they will remove the child from the
mother and seek another ward.
b. Yet, some cannot provide this basic care.
(1) Their bodies may be addicted to alcohol or drugs.
(2) They live such an immoral life that they and their
children could not know safety or security.
(3) Other circumstances may have caused a mother to be
unable to provide for the most basic needs of a child.
c. If this is you, do not think I am telling you to give up
your child!
(1) At no point in this message am I preaching give up
your child.
(2) No, rather my point is that if you are not the
mother you need to be, Christ can make you so.
(3) Christ can take away your addictions, your bad morals,
your short comings.
d. \\#John 4:16-18\\ Jesus told the woman at the well to go
fetch her husband.
(1) She balked and told him that she had no husband.
(2) Jesus corrected her and told her that she had had
five husbands and was at that time living with a
man to whom she was not married.
(3) The words that Jesus spoke to the woman were a rebuke
to her. She was living an immoral life.
(4) Yet, notice how this woman left Jesus.
John 4:28 The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and
saith to the men,
29 Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the
Christ?
(5) She did not leave sad, but happy and excited. She
went to invite others to meet her Jesus. Why?
(6) Because even though Jesus rebuked her, He did not take
away what she had. He gave her what she needed.
2. A child must also be loved and feel secure.
a. No human being is just a body. Every human being is a soul.
b. Souls need more than food and shelter. Souls need love and
security.
c. Sadly, some mothers do not know how to love.
(1) Why are mothers abandoning their babies? aborting their
babies? beating their babies? selling their babies?
(2) Because they don’t love their babies—at least they don’t
love their babies as much as they love their own selves.
d. Believe it or not, this is not always the fault of the
young mother.
(1) The Bible teaches us something important about love.
1 John 4:19 We love him, because he first loved us.
(2) This is a specific truth, but it has a wider application.
(3) John tells us that we did not love God until we first
were loved by God.
(4) Might I suggest to you that even love is something
you must be taught.
(a) We like to think certain qualities are part of
the human nature, such as love, compassion,
loyalty, so forth.
(b) They are not.
(c) Sin has so infiltrated the nature of humanity
that when left to ourselves, we become selfish,
maniacal, even evil.
(5) Love is something you must receive before you can give
it.
(a) Many young mothers don’t love because they were
not loved.
(b) You say, "Where did all of this break down?
Is it then the fault of the grandmother?
the great grandmother?
Who dropped the ball and failed to love their
child?"
(c) The problem is not just in the breakdown of human
love. No human being has ever loved perfectly.
(d) The problem is that we are all getting away from
God’s divine love. God is the One who loves us
unconditionally.
(e) God is and always has been the One who loved us
and gave us the ability to love others,
including our children.
e. Now you say, "I don’t love my child."
(1) Perhaps it is because you were not loved by your parents.
(2) Perhaps they did their best. They just did not
love you as you needed.
(3) Perhaps they didn’t do their best. Perhaps they used you,
neglected you, even abused you.
(4) So you ask, "What should I do?"
f. You should go straight to the Source of Love.
(1) You should go to the God who made you.
(2) You should go to the God who sent His Son to die for you.
(3) He will give you the love that you need so that you
will have an ample supply to give to your child.
3. A child must be developed spiritually.
a. The most neglected aspect of child rearing is the most
neglected aspect in life - the spiritual.
b. However, God created us a triune being. We are body, soul,
and spirit.
c. Long after our body and mind have gone back to the dust of
this earth, our eternal spirits will abide—either in heaven
or hell.
d. The spiritual direction that a parents starts a child in will
largely be the direction that child will travel the remainder
of his life.
e. An online poll showed that:
(1) 1% of those responding were saved before 5 years of age.
(2) 85% of those responding were saved between 5 and 14.
(3) 10% were saved between 15 and 30.
(4) 4% were saved after 30.
http://www.childrens-church-ministry.com/salvation-poll.html
f. Some take the attitude, "I don’t want to force my child to go
to church."
(1) Why not?
(2) You force them to go to bed, to eat their supper,
to zip their pants, to brush their teeth,
to go to school.
(3) Every parent knows they force their children to do things
they don’t want to do.
(4) "My parents forced me and I don’t want to have anything
to do with church."
(5) So the real reason you won’t force your child to go to
church is because you would have to take him.
(6) That is just your rebellious nature kicking at God.
(7) The truth is you would not have wanted to go to church
if your parents had not forced you to go as a child
either.
(8) At least they made sure you knew enough about salvation
to make an intelligent decision about where you would
spend eternity.
(g) You say, "I have not done a very good job training my children
spiritually."
(1) Get started. Whether they are 4 or 40, get started.
(2) However, don’t start it for their sakes. Start it
for yours.
(3) The last thing the world needs is another person who
tells their kids, "Live like I say, not like I do."
C. One of the problems with being a good mother is some women lack this
nurturing ability, but you can get it.
1. God is the Nurturer of all living things.
2. He can put that ability into you if you will let Him.
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