James 1:19-25
Why Fathers Fail?
Being a good father and husband is a tough job. In fact, it is one
of the toughest. i think that is why so many men run from it.
23.6% of US children (17.4 million) lived in father absent homes in
2014.
http://fatherhoodfactor.com/us-fatherless-statistics/
That certainly has an impact.
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of
Health/Census) - 5 times the average.
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes -
32 times the average.
85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless
homes - 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes -14
times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes - 9 times
the average. (National Principals Association Report)
https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/
But there is another kind of fatherless home, the one where the
father dumps all of the responsibility on the mother. While there
are no statistics on those kinds of homes, I can tell you that those
do not fair very well either.
I. Notice some great men who made for bad fathers.
A. Eli
1. Good man who judged Israel for 40 years. Not only did he
serve as their ruler, he was also their High Priest.
2. Yet, his sons were very wicked.
a. At the least they were thieves, thugs, adulterers,
and blasphemers.
b. While the Bible tells us that Eli did scold them,
that is all he did.
3. Eli had to do more than that on two accounts:
a. He was their father and it is the father’s calling to
direct the children’s behavior.
b. Even more, he was the High Priest and he was called
to make certain that the worship of God was
conducted properly.
4. What was Eli’s failing?
1Sam 2:30 …Be it far from me; for them that
honour me I will honour, and they that despise
me shall be lightly esteemed.
a. He honored his children more than he honored God
and His Word.
b. How do we see that? Eli did not do what God told
him to do.
B. Adam
Ge 4:8 …Cain rose up against Abel his brother,
and slew him.
1. Cain and Abel were two of Adam’s sons, the first two.
2. The Bible does not tell us much about Adam after the
fall, but I am going to suppose that the Bible’s
silence means the man was a good man.
3. However, it does not take much imagination to see that
what happened not only in the lives of Adam’s sons but
in the whole human race came about because of Adam and
Eve’s sin.
4. God has specifically given them the command not to eat
of forbidden fruit and they disobeyed the Word of the
Lord.
C. King David
1. Whereas we know very little of Adam’s life, we know a lot
about David’s.
1Kings 1:5 Then Adonijah the son of Haggith
exalted himself, saying, I will be king: and he
prepared him chariots and horsemen, and fifty
men to run before him.
6 And his father had not displeased him at any
time in saying, Why hast thou done so? and he
also was a very goodly man; and his mother bare
him after Absalom.
2. David was a great king (the greatest) and a great servant
of God (one of the greatest); but he was a terrible
husband and father.
a. He had eight wives that we know of and an unknown
number of concubines.
b. By the way, that was still wrong.
(1) \\#Ge 1:27\\ It was wrong because God made
marriage "male and female" not "male and
females."
(a) "God let him."
(b) God did show some leniency, but that does
not make a wrong right.
(c) Just because you can does not make a wrong
right.
(2) \\#Deut 17:17\\ strictly forbade the king from
having many wives.
c. So David disobeyed God’s Word in having these wives.
3. But God also disobeyed God’s word in the rearing of his
children.
a. If anyone disciplined the children at all, it was the
mothers and the nannies—not David.
b. Which is strange because as a king, David dealt out
justice to the whole nation and beyond, but never
in his own home did he correct the wrong of his
children.
c. How did his children turn out? Two tried to over-
throw him, one raped a sister, one murdered a
brother, and one tried to kill him.
II. What does all of this teach? It teaches that no matter how good
the man, no matter how successful he may be in other ventures,
no man can be a good father who does not honor God and His
Word. What causes fathers to fail? They do not honor God and
His Word.
III. James teaches us what it means to honor the Word of God.
A. \\#James 1:19\\ He would appear that he is talking to men.
1. Not just because he uses the word ‘brethren."
2. But because of what he says.
a. Be swift to hear.
b. Slow to speak.
c. Slow to wrath.
3. I am no master at any of these. Most men have a problem
with these three things. These three combine to give us
two truths.
a. Listen, don’t speak.
b. Listen, don’t get angry.
B. These are given to us as principals in life, but also ways
to honor God and His Word. (Notice \\#23\\. It shows where
his conversation was going.)
1. Listen, don’t speak.
a. Men have an innate need to fix things.
b. I remember in years gone by my wife trying to talk to
me and telling me, "I don’t need to fix it. I just
need you to listen to me."
(1) I thought that was the strangest thing. Why is
she telling me this if she does not want me to
help her with it.
(2) I also thought that was just an area of
diversity between me and Kathy. Then I saw a
skit on the internet and realized it was not
just us. A couple sat on the sofa talking and
she was complaining about having headaches and
not being able to sleep. He was sitting there,
uncomfortably trying to control himself.
Sitting on his hands, biting his lips, wrapping
his arms around him. Then it showed the woman
talking. She had a big spike coming out of
her forehead and he could not refrain himself
any longer. He pointed to the spike and
started to say, "But if we just remove
this…." And she interrupted, "I told you I
don’t need you to fix anything, I just need you
to listen."
c. Friend, God does need us to fix anything, at least
not until we listen to His Word.
2. \\#19-20\\ Listen, don’t argue.
a. And again, most men have a problem agreeing with
others.
(1) Men are opinionated.
(2) I think that comes from the fact that God has
called men to be the leaders—that and the fact
that we are a bit arrogant.
(3) For many of us, it is a condition that we need
to reign in some.
b. However, when it comes to God and His Word, we do not
need to merely reign it in. We need to chunk it
out.
c. When it comes to the Word of God:
(1) There are no discussion, no debates, no
bargains, and no compromises.
(2) Whatever the Word of God says, it is the right
thing to do. It will insure glory to God,
goodness for yourself, and happiness for your
home.
(3) In talking to the young people this week, I
was listing some proofs that Jesus and the
Bible were true and trustworthy.
(4) The truthfulness and power of the Word of God.
(5) Arguing against the Word of God is like arguing
to have a good arm or leg amputated. You are
only hurting and crippling yourself and your
home.
C. \\#19\\ There are two more ways these two verses give us to
honor the word.
1. Be swift to hear the Word. Be quick to hear.
a. The idea is to be standing ready to hear the Word of
God.
b. It like the soldier who is already on alert. He
knows orders are coming, he just does not know when.
(1) When they come, he is to be able to move
immediately.
(2) All liberties have been cancelled. He is ready
for deployment. His goodbyes have been given.
c. This is how we should be eagerly awaiting God’s
Word.
d. No preacher should ever have to run down a Christian
to tell him what God says. Christians should be
standing in line outside the door of church in
anticipation of hearing something from God.
2. There is another truth which is revealed in the original
language of this text.
a. The verb tense is present tense, meaning we are to
keep on listening.
b. It is never, "I listened for God’s Word."
c. It is always, "I am listening for God’s Word."
D. \\#23\\ Obey the Word
1. Here is the crown jewel of honoring God and His Word.
You obey Him.
a. A faith that stops in your head is a fake faith.
b. Christianity is not meant to be believed, It is
meant to be acted upon.
a. It is obvious to me that to most people, acting
on what you believe is beyond them.
b. They call Christians who actually live what they
believe fanatical. So be it.
Mt 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If
any man will come after me, let him deny himself,
and take up his cross, and follow me.
2. James gave us some examples of fake faith.
a. \\#26\\ Let the Word of God change your speech.
James 1:26 If any man among you seem to be
religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but
deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion
is vain.
b. \\#27\\ Let the Word of God work through you to help
others.
James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before
God and the Father is this, To visit the
fatherless and widows in their affliction….
c. \\#21\\ Let the Word of God change you.
James 1:21 Wherefore lay apart all filthiness
and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with
meekness the engrafted word, which is able to
save your souls.
3. A fake faith that does nothing with you will do nothing
for you. If your faith does not change you, it will not
get you into heaven either.
a. Listen to the Word, father.
b. Yield to the Word.
c. Obey it.
d. It will make you a successful man, husband, and
father.
4. \\#24-25\\ James compares someone who knows the Bible and
does not obey it to someone who sees something wrong in
their mirror reflection but does not fix it.
a. The wrong will still be there.
b, You are going to look funny if not foolish.
c. It won’t be the mirror or the manufacturer of the
mirror’s fault.
Dad, if you want to be successful, honor God and honor His Word.
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