Philippians 3:13-14
How Do We Live with Ourselves?
\\#13\\ Forgetting those things which are behind me
and reaching forth…."
From time to time, I am reminded of the difficulty that some have in
living with their past. All of us have a past and most likely,
everyone has something to feel guilty over. Sometimes, that can be
overwhelming. Yet in every case, God will grant us his forgiveness if
we ask. He then desires that we forgive ourselves.
Paul understood something of this kind of guilt.
1Tim 1:15 This is a faithful saying, and worthy
of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into
the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.
Paul called himself the chief of sinners. Before his conversion, Paul
consented to at least one death (Stephen) and probably many more. He
was also responsible for the arrest of godly men and women who did
nothing more than live for Jesus. How many homes do you suppose he
destroyed? How many children did he cast out on the streets? How many
good people did he hurt or even kill?
I am sure that if Paul had allowed it, his past could have easily
conquered and destroyed him. You may or may not realize it but our
past (our guilt, our shame) can be one of Satan’s most powerful tools
to hinder us.
How do we deal with it? Paul shows us how he dealt with it.
I. We must be certain that God has forgiven us.
A. We never sin against anyone more than we sin against God.
1. That statement might sound wrong but if you will consider
it, I believe you will find it is true.
2. Whatever our wrong was, it was against God first and
foremost.
3. If some other human was hurt or even killed, our sin was
still against God first and foremost.
B. How we make someone else feel, does not determine whether an
action is right or wrong.
1. Sometimes we do something wrong and it doesn't make us
feel badly at all.
2. At other times what we are doing may be right, but we feel
terrible because of it.
3. We cannot use our feeling to determine what right and
wrong is.
4. What do we use?
C. I would say two things determine what is right and wrong.
1. What God says determines what right and wrong is.
a. All rules of right and wrong behavior are made by God.
b. Wrong is only wrong because God said it was wrong.
c. Right is only right because God said it was right.
2. How what we do hinders the plan of God determines what
right and wrong is. Whatever we did, whoever we injured,
it was God’s plan that we messed up and God’s rules that
we violated.
3. If fact if neither of those things were done, no matter
how someone feels, no wrong was done.
D. So if we want forgiveness, we must go to the One whom we have
truly sinned against.
1. Good news. God not only wants to forgive us, He will.
Acts 5:31 Him hath God exalted with his right
hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give
repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins.
Acts 13:38 Be it known unto you therefore, men
and brethren, that through this man is preached
unto you the forgiveness of sins:
2. More good news.
a. God is the One who owns the books of right and wrong,
guilt and innocence, condemnation and forgiveness.
Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no
condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus,
who walk not after the flesh, but after the
Spirit.
b. I understand that most every human being has their own
miniature ledger of right and wrong, guilt and
innocence, condemnation and forgiveness.
c. However, God’s books are the only books that count.
(1) God is the only sinless, perfect One who has never
done anything wrong to anyone.
(2) That means God is the only One who has the right
to keep the books.
(3) In addition, God’s books are the only books from
which we will be judged.
d. In other words, if God forgives you,
the wrong you committed is replaced with right,
the guilt feelings He produces are replaced with
innocence,
and the condemnation you deserved is replaced with
forgiveness.
D. Get God’s forgiveness.
1. If you are not saved, be saved. When we are saved, all of
our sins are washed away.
2. If you are saved, confess to God that what you have done
is wrong.
a. Believe it or not. It is that simple.
b. \\#1John 1:9\\ is real.
E. However, there is more we need to do to get forgiveness from
others.
II. Attempt to reconcile with any person who will allow you to do so.
A. After you have received forgiveness from God, you should
attempt to reconcile with those you have hurt.
1. The Word of God clearly teaches us that we are to attempt
reconciliation:
Matt 5:23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to
the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother
hath ought against thee;
24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go
thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and
then come and offer thy gift.
Romans 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth
in you, live peaceably with all men.
2. Sadly, reconciliation is not always possible; but if we
can, we should surely reconcile with others.
B. Understand that the Bible is talking about reconciliation not
just apologizing.
C. I see several aspects to reconciliation.
1. Start by making right whatever you can make right.
2. Go see the wronged person.
3. Tell the wronged what you did to wrong them.
4. Tell the wronged what you have begun to do to fix the
wrong.
5. Ask the person what you can do to make the wrong right or
righter.
6. Ask for forgiveness.
D. You say, "I tried to reconcile, but I was met with bitterness
and hatred." Here it gets a bit difficult.
1. Accept it.
a. Accept the fact that they are bitter, angry, and
unforgiving.
b. We have no right to condemn a person who is angry from
a seed we planted.
c. If we planted a hurt, a betrayal, or a deception;
and they harvested a crop of anger and bitterness
because of it, we just have to accept it.
d. A good part of self-forgiveness is accepting things.
(1) When we are asking for forgiveness from someone
we wronged, we are asking them to accept that
wrong and to live with it.
(2) When they refuse to forgive us, they are telling
us no. That instead, we are going to have to
accept their bitterness and live with it.
(3) Either way, someone is going to have to accept
something that they didn’t want.
(4) Their logic is they already have enough to
accept, it is time for us to accept that they
are not going to get over it.
(5) So accept it.
e. If we offended them, we must accept their choice to be
bitter and continue our life with joy, peace, and
happiness, knowing that God has forgiven us and that
He is the One who really matters.
2. Now, that is not the outcome we wanted.
a. It is not the outcome we wanted for THEM.
(1) Their bitterness will hurt them just like it will
hurt us if we do not accept and walk in God’s
forgiveness.
(2) We don’t want them to be hurt anymore.
b. It is not the outcome we wanted for US. While nothing
can remove a wrong that has been done, it is easier
to live with what we have done if we know the person
we wronged as forgiven us.
c. It is not the outcome we wanted for GOD'S PLAN. If a
person carries bitterness, it will affect their
relationship with God.
d. Above all things, we are not going to do anything more
to hurt them—including lecturing them or being angry
with them.
(1) We are not going to talk about them.
(2) We are not going to take their bitterness
lightly.
(3) We are going to love them every chance we get.
(4) If we get an opportunity, we will help them.
e. And even above all of that, we are not going to let
their bitterness be a weight of guilt, condemnation,
or shame to us.
(1) We are going to accept the fact that our wrong
has caused them hurt, because we gave them the
seed of hurt.
(2) However, their bitterness is on them. They
planted the seed, nurtured it, and now are
protecting it.
(3) That's their choice, but if God has forgiven the
wrong, there is no condemnation!
3. The sad reality is when it comes to matters of earthly
forgiveness, someone must always accept things they do
not want to carry.
a. On the earthly side of forgiveness, a wrong never goes
away. On the heavenly side it does, but not on the
earthly side.
b. When we ask someone to forgive us, we are
acknowledging they we have already forced them to
accept a wrong they did not want to carry, but then
we are asking them to accept us along with the wrong.
c. Some people simply won't do that.
d. Se we will have to carry that.
e. Considering we gave them the hurt to carry, we should
be able to handle carrying the fact that they are
hurt and are not able to forgive us.
f. Accept it
III. You must forget what you did in the past.
A. Now we come back to our text \\#Php 3:13\\.
Phi 3:13 … forgetting those things which are
behind, and reaching forth unto those things
which are before,
B. Forgetting your past is much easier said than done,
1. However, there are some things that a Christian just can’t
let himself think about.
2. In fact, the Bible is commanding us NOT to think about
them.
C. The Bible teaches that we must learn to control our minds.
2Cor 10:3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do
not war after the flesh:
4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal,
but mighty through God to the pulling down of
strong holds;)
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing
that exalteth itself against the knowledge of
God, and bringing into captivity every thought to
the obedience of Christ;
6 And having in a readiness to revenge all
disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.
1. All believers must learn early in their Christian life
that there are some thoughts that pop into their heads
which cannot be allowed to stay.
a. A man sees an immodestly clad lady. He must dismiss
that thought immediately.
b. If a man dwells on that thought, he has sinned.
c. Hence, we learn how to focus our mind on something
else.
2. That is the same tactic we must use when we feel guilt or
remorse over our past actions.
3. If we do not, we have sinned.
IV. You must reach ahead and press toward the future.
Phil 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize
of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
A. While there is nothing we can do about our past, there is
much we can do about the future.
1. Many people are wasting their future fretting over their
past!
2. If you keep doing what you are doing, you are going to
have more guilt over wasting your life and hurting those
you care about now.
B. Instead, believers need to set goals for what they want to
accomplish with the remainder of their lives.
We all have things to feel guilty over, but we must not let Satan use
that as a means to keep us down. Do what you can with whatever of
your life that remains. Do something that you can present to Jesus
with happiness.
<OutlineIndex>
<Close Window>
