Colossians 3:18-21
Character-Commands for A Godly Home
I. \\#1:1-2:23\\ The Person of God Displayed through Christ
A. \\#1:1-12\\ Introduction
1. \\#1-2\\ Paul’s Salutation
2. \\#1:3-8\\ Paul’s Recognition
3. \\#1:9-11\\ Paul’s Prayer
B. \\#1:12-2:3\\ The Person of Christ
1. \\#1:12-14\\ Paul’s Thanks
2. \\#1:15-22\\ Paul’s Message
a. \\#15-17\\ Who Jesus is in Creation.
(1) \\#15\\ Jesus, the image of the invisible God.
(2) \\#15\\ Jesus, the firstborn of every creature.
(3) \\#16\\ Jesus, the Creator of all things.
(4) \\#17\\ Jesus, the One before all things.
(5) \\#17\\ Jesus, the One by whom all things consist.
b. \\#18-21\\ Who Jesus is in the church
(1) \\#18\\ Jesus, the Head of the body.
(2) \\#18\\ Jesus, the beginning, the firstborn from the dead.
(3) \\#19\\ Jesus, in whom dwells all the fullness of the
Godhead.
(4) \\#20\\ Jesus. the Peacemaker.
(5) \\#21\\ Jesus, the Reconciler.
(6) \\#22\\ Jesus, the Presenter.
3. \\#1:23\\ Paul’s Challenge
4. \\1:24-2:3\\ Paul’s Ministry
a. \\#1:24\\ Paul Enduring
b. \\#1:25-28\\ Paul Entrusted
c. \\#2:1-3\\ Paul Expected
C. \\#2:4-23\\ Warnings to the Church
1. \\#2:4-7\\ Don’t Be Beguiled
2. \\#2:8-15\\ Don’t Be (Spoiled) Ruined
3. \\#2:16-17\\ Don’t Be (Judged) Condemned
4. \\#2:18\\ Don’t Lose Your Reward
5. \\#2:19-23\\ Don’t Lose Your Christ
D. \\#2:10-23\\ The Solution is to Remember
1. \\#2:9-10\\ Who Christ is.
2. \\#2:11-15\\ What Christ has done.
3. \\#2:16-23\\ What we should do.
II. \\#3:1-4:18\\ The Person of God Displayed through the Believers
A. \\#3:1\\ A Condition
B. \\#3:2-4\\ A Correlation
C. \\#3:5-4:6\\ Commands
1. \\#3:5-17\\ For A Growing Christian
a. \\#5-7\\ We must kill some things.
b. \\#8-9\\ We must "put off" some things.
c. \\#10-17\\ We must "put on" some things.
2. \\#3:18-21\\ For A Godly Home
3. \\#3:22-4:1\\ For Good Business
4. \\#4:2-6\\ For A Strong Christian Life
I. \\#3:5-4:6\\ Commands
A. \\#3:5-17\\ For A Growing Christian
B. \\#3:18-21\\ For A Godly Home
1. While we continue to look at the commands Paul gave, we move from the
commands to the growing Christian to the commands for a godly home.
2. It is obvious that Paul did not intend to give an in-depth lesson on
the home.
a. He gives only four verses, each with a command to one of the
four roles in the home: husbands, wives, children, and parents.
b. I would suppose that what Paul did in this short space was to
prioritize what he said.
c. If that is the case, the commands that he gave would likely be
either the most difficult or the most important for the family
member he is addressing.
3. \\#18\\ To the WIVES.
a. Most likely Paul starts with the wives because what he is about to
tell them is universally disliked.
(1) I do not know but I imagine that women of all ages and times
have disliked this command.
(2) While we have the notion that primarily American women of the
last few decades are the only ones to resist this command, I
suspect we are wrong.
(3) There has always been some question about what God meant when
He cursed Eve.
Ge 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy
conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be
to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
(a) "thy desire shall be to thy husband"
i. Some think that phrase means that the woman will
have a desire FOR a husband. Many woman do not
have a desire to have a husband and the number
seems to be rising.
ii. Others think that the phrase means that the woman’s
desire shall be CONTROLLED by her husband.
(b) "and he shall rule over thee" - The remainder of the
verse seems to indicate the latter interpretation is
correct.
(c) Both of these statements together would suggest that
sin stole the peace out of the home. Instead, there is
going to be conflict and strife as men try to rule over
women who do not want to be ruled over.
b. Paul’s command is that women are to SUBMIT to their husbands.
(1) That means that it is the will of God for the husband to lead
and the women to follow.
(a) I know you might like me to tell you something new in
regards to this command, but I cannot find any thing
new to tell you.
i. God gave the command and He expects the wives to
obey it.
ii. The husband’s role in no way makes him superior to
the wife and the wife’s role in no way makes her
inferior to the husband.
(b) These roles are simply God’s way of resolving
differences of opinion in the home so that the home can
continue to move forward as a unit.
(2) I will say (again) that the authority card should not have to
be used often.
(a) Husbands and their wives SHOULD NOT be on such drastic
and different pages.
(b) If you are, either the wife is extremely rebellious or
the husband is very controlling or there is a bit of
both.
(c) No matter which way it actually is, the husband is
going to THINK the wife is rebellious and the wife
is going to THINK the husband is controlling.
(d) And no matter which way it actually is, husband, you
better get some help for your home before you lose it.
(3) By the way husbands, while the Bible does command the wife to
follow the husband, the Bible no where commands the husband
to lead the wife.
(a) If the wife will not follow of her own accord, you
have no authority to try to force her.
(b) You have only as much authority in the home as your
wife will give you and if you attempt to force her
against her will—in this country—you will wind up
in jail.
(c) Husbands, our best tool is not authority. Paul is
about to tell us what our best tool is.
4. \\#19\\ To the HUSBANDS.
a. Husbands are to love their wives.
(1) Husbands are not commanded to lead but to love.
(a) The husband’s tool is not authority and force but love.
(b) The husband’s best tool is to love our wives enough that
his wife will want to follow.
i. It takes an awful lot of love to make a woman want
to follow her husband.
ii. Unfortunately, some men mess up so badly in early
years of marriage that their wives may never feel
loved enough to want to follow.
(c) Husbands, if you do not love you wife as the Bible
commands, don’t expect her to follow you as the Bible
commands—-and don’t expect God to deal with her about
it.
(d) How does God command that men love their wives?
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave
himself for it;
i. Husbands must love their wives enough to put their
wants, desires, and needs aside to promote her.
ii. Love means sacrifice and Christ’s example is to
sacrifice everything.
(2) Husbands are commanded not to become bitter.
(a) Why would God give that command here?
(b) Because sometimes, even when the husband loves like
the Bible commands, some wives will not follow them.
(c) Some records will have to be tallied in heaven.
b. I honestly believe that while some woman have been victimized
by trying to keep their commandment, men have the more difficult
command to keep.
(1) I am not saying it always works out that way on earth, but I
am saying that when we all stand before God, husbands will
have a higher charge to be accountable for than the wives.
(2) Every husband that has expected—and worse, demanded—
obedience without leading in love will have an awesome tab
to reckon with before God.
5. \\#20\\ To the CHILDREN.
a. Children are to OBEY their parents.
(1) This is that submission issue again.
(2) Just as it is difficult for most wives to submit to the
husbands, so it is difficult for most children to obey their
parents.
(3) Sometimes it has to do with the personalities of the children
and parents; but even when personalities are agreeable, the
sin nature prefers to rebel.
b. Young people, notice that God says to obey your parents in "all
things."
(1) Guess what that means.
(2) It means in all things.
(3) There may come a time when your parents tell you to do some-
thing that is so blatantly wrong that you may need to
graciously, lovingly, carefully, talk to them about it; but
for most, that will never happen.
(4) 99.9% will never have a bigger issue than thinking what they
have been told to do is stupid (which is often code for
embarrassing to a young person.)
(5) Young people, just endure it and obey.
(6) Do it for the glory of God and see what God might do for you.
6. \\#21\\ To the PARENTS.
a. Paul spoke to the father.
(1) However what is said to one parent needs to be said to both.
(2) Why did Paul address only the father?
(a) Perhaps because the father is the head of the home.
(b) Perhaps Paul addressed the father on this issue because
men tend to be more aggressive, more dominate, more
proud, and sometimes even more mean in their dealings
with their children.
b. This command is similar to the one God gave to the husbands.
(1) Essentially, God tells husbands and fathers to lead in love,
not force and not aggravation.
(2) Good leadership is good leadership.
(a) Whether you are leading your wife, your children, or a
Fortune 500 company, force is never as good a tool as
love and kindness.
(b) While leadership goals, responsibilities, and means
are different in the home, there is no reason for a
father to be any more cruel or heartless in dealing with
his children than a boss could be in dealing with his
employees.
(c) By the way, children can and do QUIT on their parents.
c. Remember, God always gives authority to benefit those under the
authority, not so that the authority can profit from it.
(1) That is called a conflict of interest.
(2) Parents, our interest should be in the nurturing and
betterment of our children not some selfish scheme in which
they are bettering us.
(3) By the way, parents do not need to try to live out their
dreams through the lives of their children.
(a) Your children should not have to become the cheerleader,
the athlete, or the academic that you failed to
become.
(b) Just because somebody ruined your childhood (maybe even
yourself) that is no reason for you to ruin your
children’s childhood.
(c) Encourage them to do their best and to excel at what God
wants THEM to become.
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