2Samuel 13:21-23
Another Murderer in the House
The Bible is not a book to look over the failures of its characters. Neither is
God one to whitewash the life of His saints. The Bible (and its Author) records
the falls of the saints just like it records their triumphs. In that aspect at
least, we can be glad that the cannon of the God’s Word is closed, for I would
hate that my failures were recorded in a Book for all the following generations
to read.
Such is the case of King David. David lived an exemplary life until we come
to 2 Samuel 11, where he sinned with Bathsheba. In 2 Samuel 12, David is caught.
Nathan, God’s prophet, came to David with a parable of his sin. David in wrath
pronounced his own punishment in \\#2Sam 12:6\\.
2Sam 12:6 And he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing,
and because he had no pity.
2Sam 12:10 Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house….
David destroyed another man’s life and family and so God sent four great sorrows
to his family. We saw two of them last week.
\\#2Sam 12:15-18\\ The child conceived by David’s adultery died.
\\#2Sam 13:1-21\\ David’s daughter, Tamar, is raped by David’s son, Amnon.
Tonight, we come to the third installment of sorrow and we find out that there is
another murderer in the house.
Absalom was the third-born son of David. Amnon was the oldest. These boys had
different mothers but, of course, David was their father. Absalom as also Tamar’s
full brother. Remember, Amnon had raped and cast out Tamar.
I. Notice what David did concerning Amnon.
2Sam 13:21 But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth.
A. That is all the Bible says about it.
1. We might want to remember that this is the same man who was
prepared to kill Nabel and all the men with him for an insult.
2. This is also the man who sent Joab to attack Ammon, in part for
mistreating ambassadors.
B. Where is the fire and fury of David now?
1. It is possible that David’s sin robbed him of the moral high
ground.
a. I mentioned this last week.
b. I repeat, do not let it happen to you.
2. It is possible that things might change when the wrong is within
your own home.
a. I am not saying it should. I am saying it could. Here, it
did.
b. David, as the king of Israel, served two roles of authority.
(1) King David served as the authority in matters of the law.
(a) Absalom should have executed for his sin and rime.
(b) That is what God commanded in the Old Testament.
(c) Again, I am not saying I would. I am just saying he
should.
(2) Daddy David served as the authority in matters of the
home.
(a) David should have exercised some kind of discipline
to his son and some kind of love to his daughter.
(b) I do not know that David did absolutely nothing for
the Bible doesn’t say that.
(c) However, it is obvious that in Absalom’s eyes, his
father did not do what was right.
i. I am not certain that anything would have stopped
Absalom’s vengeance.
ii. It is apparent that Absalom begins to contemplate
a plan right away \\#2Sam 13:22\\.
iii. However, it is certain that his father doing
nothing for two full years did not help.
II. \\#2Sam 13:23-29\\ So Absalom took matters into his own hands.
A. Commentary is not really needed here. Absalom executed the penalty he
deemed appropriate upon his own brother.
B. The lessons David might have learned from his trials:
1. From the death of the baby, he might have learned what it was to
have an innocent killed.
2. From the attack on Tamar, he might have learned what it was to be
betrayed.
3. From the murder of his son, he might have learned what it was to be
the victim of a murder and to know the abuse of power.
B. However, this is not all there is to the story. There is more to
see about this man. His story goes on for five chapters.
1. The time period from Bathsheba through Absalom seems short, but
it was not.
2. We do not have specifics, but David was probably a reasonably young
man when he committed adultery with Bathsheba.
3. Once we finish with Absalom, David will be getting too old to
fight.
III. Since Absalom will take a lot of space in the life of David, let’s get to
know him a little.
A. Absalom was undisciplined.
1. To understand David’s sons, we need to see how David reared them.
We can see it from a verse concerning another of David’s sons,
Adonijah.
1Kings 1:6 And his father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why
hast thou done so? and he also was a very goodly man; and his mother bare him
after Absalom.
2. The Bible records that David had ten sons.
a. \\#2Sam 3:2-3\\ and \\#2Sam 5:14\\
b. We have at least some history about four of them, Amnon,
Absalom, Adonijah, and Solomon.
c. None of them seem to have any discipline.
3. Everything that is recorded about Absalom showed him trying to get
what he wanted.
a. \\#2Sam 13:1-39\\ He wanted revenge against Amnon.
b. \\#2Sam 14:1-33\\ He wanted his dad to acknowledge him.
c. \\#2Sam 15-18:33\\ He wanted dad’s throne.
4. Why? Because self discipline can not be learned with parental
discipline.
a. Every child must have limits.
b. Every child must have accountability.
B. Absalom was proud.
1. Sadly, pride is the natural state of sinful man.
a. This is really amazing when you consider that we are nothing
like what God intended us to be.
b. We are wretched, blind, self-righteous, rebellious, mean-
spirited, and plain hateful, yet we think we are doing all
right!
2. If we could ask Absalom why he was proud, he would probably say,
"Why shouldn’t I be?"
a. He was handsome. \\#2Sam 14:26\\
b. He was rich.
c. He was gifted. \\#2Sam 15:1-6\\
d. He was cocky. We will see where he burned Joab’s fields,
thought his daddy ought to come to him after he killed Amnon,
and will even build a monument to himself.
2 Samuel 18:18 Now Absalom in his lifetime had taken and reared up for himself
a pillar, which is in the king’s dale: for he said, I have no son to keep my
name in remembrance: and he called the pillar after his own name: and it is
called unto this day, Absalom’s place.
3. Pride produces a lot of problems.
a. Pride and no discipline make for an unbearable personality.
b. But the biggest problem with pride is that it is the bed from
which most other sins are born!
(1) A humble spirit is usually an obedient, kind, helpful
spirit.
(2) A proud spirit sins both against God and others.
4. David will warm against pride but will not remove it from his own
sons.
Psalm 73:6 Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth
them as a garment.
7 Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish.
8 They are corrupt, and speak wickedly concerning oppression: they speak loftily.
9 They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through
the earth.
10 Therefore his people return hither: and waters of a full cup are wrung out
to them.
11 And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High?
C. Absalom was cold.
1. By cold, I mean that he had closed down his emotions.
a. He killed his own brother and will try to kill his father.
That’s cold!
b. \\2Sam 13:23\\ Absalom kept his anger and wrath stored inside
his for two full years—with only a cousin (Shimeah) knowing
it.
c. The only way to do that is to shut down your heart and
emotions.
d. The Bible calls it "hardening" the heart.
2. The first step to any deliberate sin is to shut down your heart
and emotions.
3. You can not shut down part of your emotions without warping your
spirit!
a. Shutting them down does two things:
(1) It limits God’s conviction.
(a) Conviction is a work of the spirit and the heart.
(b) If we harden or close our heart, we lessen what God
can do with us.
(2) It limits guilt.
(a) If we want to take revenge or do something that will
hurt another, just thinking about it would trigger
the conscience of most people.
(b) A hard or closed heart limits what our conscience
can do.
a. We are emotional beings, created in that aspect in the image of
God.
(1) Often when we have problems with a loved one, we decide
to simply quit caring for or loving them. (husbands and
wives, parents and children)
(2) This always has an effect on every other relationship we
have, including our relationship with God.
(3) The headlines are filled with people who tried to harden
their hearts.
4. The fact that Absalom could turn off his emotions shows there was
a great spiritual problem in his life.
D. Absalom was vengeful.
1. Absalom wanted revenge on Amnon for raping his sister.
a. I don’t know if what happened to Tamar was what originally
derailed Absalom’s character or if it was just another stop
on the tracks of train-wrecked life.
b. It certainly did not help him any.
2. Why did Absalom feel he needed to seek revenge? Because neither
King David or Daddy David was going to render any justice.
a. Remember David’s parenting—or lack of it.
1Kings 1:6 And his father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why
hast thou done so?
b. Whether in the home of in government, when wrong is left
unpunished, people turn to revenge.
Ecclesiastes 8:11 Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily,
therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.
c. Repeatedly I have said that there can be no mercy without
justice.
(1) Again I must point out, that justice must be the standard,
even among Christians or law becomes anarchy and mercy
becomes a joke.
(2) Mercy is giving an exception to the standard of justice.
(3) If the standard becomes "anything goes," then you can’t
show mercy.
(4) What you end up with is total disregard for right, for the
law, and for authority.
(5) Then those who want justice are forced to seek it for
themselves.
3. Yet revenge is never the right answer.
a. Even the Old Testament forbids the personal revenge.
Leviticus 19:18 Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children
of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.
Proverbs 20:22 Say not thou, I will recompense evil; but wait on the LORD, and
he shall save thee.
Proverbs 24:29 Say not, I will do so to him as he hath done to me: I will
render to the man according to his work.
b. How much more so the New Testament!
Matthew 5:39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall
smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Romans 12:17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the
sight of all men.
1 Thessalonians 5:15 See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever
follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.
1 Peter 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but
contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should
inherit a blessing.
4. Why does God forbid us to seek revenge?
a. Because God has appointed justice to His ordained authorities.
b. Because hurt people can’t see things clearly.
c. Because God didn’t equip individuals with the ability to deal
with that kind of responsibility.
As mentioned, David’s life is continuing must faster than we might realize. These
four returns did not occur all at the same time. It is likely that Amnon, Tamar,
and Absalom were all small children when David committed adultery. But no matter
how much time passed, David knew what was happening and why. The sword of justice
was hanging in his house.
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